it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
