1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
