So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pop tarts are not kleenex
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize