So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
