he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Randomize
