He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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