I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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