Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Randomize
