I wish i was in the wii world.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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