my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
