hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
