She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
