You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
