seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize