hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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