the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just invented taco cereal.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
