if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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