I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize