He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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