we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
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I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
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We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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