Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
