It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
