hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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