Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
