the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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