God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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