what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
