So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
