ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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