I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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