Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
The feeling are messing with the penis
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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