This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Im part way to drunk.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
