I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
