I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
