if i died would you start the facebook group?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
