Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
