so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
