this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
