His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
