Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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