I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Hello my rib-scented angel!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize