How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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