The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Can I color on your dick again?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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