I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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