I like my sex mixed with concussions.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
There are leaves in my underwear?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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