Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
