you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
