your parents love me but you hate me
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
