I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
