Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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