There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
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