Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so let's talk penis.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
