is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just googled if crying burns calories
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
