im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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