We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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