I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
