3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
look no pants
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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