i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
