My first STD was from a foam party
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
