i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
