Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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