i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
