Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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